Wednesday, August 26, 2009

LASIK Vision Correction: What to Expect

Since having my LASIK performed on Friday morning, numerous friends have asked me about the experience and procedure. There are many options for laser vision correction, so LASIK may not be for you. But I will explain the best I can for those of you that are interested. I apologize for the length, but wanted to be thorough.

First off, you are going to want to set up an appointment with an Opthamologist, not an Optometrist.

He/She will spend some time with you dicussing your options and what to expect from vision correction. You will receive a more thorough eye exam than you are used to, but nothing is painful or freakish. You will need to take your contact lenses out beforehand, obviously, and these tests will allow the Opthamologist to decide if you are a good candidate. Once you are decided on the procedure, you will be told not to wear your contact lenses for at least 2 weeks, so that the natural shape of the eye will be exposed. You will have another eye appointment previous to surgery, where the doctor will double-check the thickness of your cornea by taking high quality pictures, that resemble a doppler radar. You will also be given an antibiotic drop to use 4 times a day in each eye to prepare for surgery, as well as a surgery date.

First off, no jewelry or perfume, because the laser does not like it. Second, make sure to dress warmly, because the room that the laser is in is cold as shit! The first step after checking in, is that a technician will take you back to a room, where more pictures will be taken of your eye for comparison numbers. If you are nervous, they will give you a xanax to calm you. This tech will be your doc's wingman throughout the process. Next, your eyes will be cleaned and prepped. You'll close your eyes and the tech will wipe your lid area down with an antiomicrobial soap, and clean it off for you. Next he will put about 6 drops in each of your eyes, these are numbing drops.

Next you are taken to the room where the laser is, and you will lay down on a leather table, and the doc will swing you under the laser. He will put more numbing drops in your eyes. The laser is basically a really bright ring of light above you, with a small, flashing, red dot in the center. You keep your focus on the red dot at all times.

First the doc will cover one of your eyes with a patch. Next he tapes your top lashes up, and your bottom lashes down on the exposed eye. He will put an instrument that looks something like an eyelash curler between your eyelids and eyeball, which will allow the eye to be opened nice and wide. You don't feel any of this. Your doctor will rinse your eye (which is actually really cool looking.)

This next step is the only part that was uncomfortable, though not painful. A suction cup is placed on the eye, to pop it slightly higher out of the socket. When the suction is on it will feel like your eyes do in an airplane or under water due to the pressure, but a little worse, and your vision will go completely black. He will then turn the suction off, and rinse the eye again. Your blurry vision will return.

Next you will hear something that sounds like a dental drill, but half as loud, and the doc will make a small cut on the eye (really you feel nothing, and your eye is so blurry it is hard to even see whats going on.) This creates a flap that is peeled back, to expose the cornea. Your vision will get twice as blurry.

Once this is done the laser will be set to work for a certain amount of time alotted for the correction needed in the eye. Your doc will tell you to focus on the red light, hold your head in place so that you don't move, and turn on the laser. It looks exactly like the tip of a sparkler when the laser is doing it's work, just flashes of white light around that red light that you are still focused on. It's actually pretty.

Next, the eye is rinsed yet again, and the doc will carefully pull the flap down over your cornea and set it in place using a surgical sponge. The flap of the eye will secure itself. He removes the eyelid instrument, and untapes your lashes. He'll cover that eye, and repeat the same process all over again on the other eye.

Now, you are done! Takes 15-20 minutes for this whole procedure, tops. You will be given a bag of drops. One is the same antibiotic you used before surgery, and one is a steroid to help the eye heal. You use them both 4 times a day, and wait 15 minutes in between the two drops so they don't wash each other out. You also will have a bunch of bottles of artificial tears. Your job is to keep your eyes moist. You will need these until your eyes are healed and able to tear on their own again. You get a goofy ass pair of goggles which you have to wear when you sleep, so that you don't unconsciously poke your eye, lay on your fist, get fibers in the eye, etc. And lastly, these huge hater blockers that are very dark and fug, but they protect your eyes from the sun. And an appointment will be set up to visit your doc the following day for a check up.

When whoever is driving you home, you will notice you can already see quite well, and your eyes will clear up over the next several days. No reading, TV, or computer the first day. Put your goggles on and go to bed...becuase that xanax will have fully kicked in and you will sleep like a baby for a few hours.

My surgery was done exactly 6 days ago. My prescription was Left eye:-875 Right eye:-725. Today I am seeing L:20/25 and R:20/30. This will still clear up a bit more over time. And the only thing I have found that my eyes are sensitive to are the sun [wear sunglasses when outside] and flourescent lighting. Aside from that, no pain at all, no itching while healing, NOTHING!

For reference, if you are in South Florida and would like to check out my doctor, here is his information:

Jonathan F. Wise, M.D., F.A.C.S.
3816 Hollywood Blvd, Suite 101
Hollywood, FL 33021

He's also got an office in Pembroke Pines. You can ask for that info when you call. I will warn you though, that during your initial first few visits, he is very dry and monotone. Almost cold sounding, it's just his personality though. Once you are a patient and the LASIK is closer his attitude and personality improve tenfold...he'll even crack jokes! And another thing I loved is that during the surgery he will explain everything he does as he goes, to prepare you, way better than I described here.

I am very happy with the result, and go back again for another follow-up Monday afternoon. I will not need glasses again until my late 40's or early 50's, for reading. At that age, most people need reading glasses anyway.

Monday, August 17, 2009

An oldschool Mansonite...scarier than Marilyn's

So as of last Friday, Lynette Fromme [a.k.a. Squeaky] was released from Prison. For those of you who live under a rock, 'Squeaky' is/was one of Charlie Manson's disciples. She did not have direct involvement in the slayings at the Tate residence, however once Charles Manson was arrested, she became the head of the family and was arrested numerous times. She was eventually arrested and improsoned, for life, after putting a gun to then president Ford's head, to prove her devotion to the family. Apparently this latest parole hearing, some moron decided that she has paid her price. So much for life in prison.

Of the many years that Fromme was imprisoned, she has kept in touch with Charles Manson most of this time. And also has the telltale 'X' carved into her forhead. As of now, she is free at 60 years of age.

It makes you wonder...can this person really function in society, when they were so easily manipulated and brain-washed by Manson? She attemped assasination on a president and has been in touch with her...mentor all of these years. Maybe releasing her to a psychiatric ward would have been more effective than releasing her into the public. Who knows, maybe she will end up in the limelight, always being watched closely. Maybe not, but if she's a good actress and can convince a judge that she was ready for freedom...she could also still have the drive to try and regroup a following. What are the chances that she is not going to go batshit crazy and commit an actual homicide this time...or succeed in another assasination attempt this time, on our current president?

I don't know guys, I'm iffy on this one. What do you guys think on this? Do you think she is atoned, or does the fact that she was and is so close with Manson still seem a little creepy to you all as well?