Monday, December 13, 2010

America - too sensitive?

MILEY CYRUS A BAD INFLUENCE!!! So she took a rip out of a bong. According to reports it was salvia - which by definition sucks. It is also legal in all but 15 states, and she was in one of the states that it IS legal...clearly it's her first time hitting the bong, seeing as her "friends" are teaching her how to use it properly. Secondly, that was a weak rip, she got a lot in the chamber but didn't even clear the piece. Third, there is NO WAY that she took a hit and instantly went into hysterics, that seems more like a show for her friends. Supposedly (and I have never experienced this with salvia)you have a trip similar to LSD for about 5 minutes and then a strange, stoned feeling. If she had a trip similar to LSD - she would not be focused on some random dude that "looks like her boyfriend,' I promise you that.
And might I add, that by looking at her eyes, she is definitely on something-but I doubt it is saliva.

But here's the thing. She is (supposedly) experimenting with a drug that is legal, while she is of legal age. Some argue that she is a role model for small children - I hate to break it to you America, but children grow up. She will not be a Disney princess forever, and believe me, kids are seeing much, MUCH worse on tv and at school everyday. In fact, a lot of teenagers younger than Miley have already experimented with drugs.

The sad fact is that now people are rallying for salvia to be made illegal. Because of that video of a former Disney star smoking a legal substance, while of age. If it were anyone else, not famous, it would be a non-issue. If something like salvia is going to be banned, what is next - alcohol, cigarettes? Those are pretty damn dangerous in themselves if you are not cautious with them. Same as any other addiction. And I GUARANTEE that there are more people selling actual marijuana and other drugs to underage kids, than are selling salvia...which is legally available in most head shops - so long as the buyer is at least 18 years of age. Which makes it pretty damn unnecessary to have to make a deal in the streets. Not to mention, your kids are more likely to buy marijuana BECAUSE it is illegal than salvia if offered.

This all comes down to a simple fact...parents need to talk to their kids. Using your voice toward the Government is a good thing, but in some need to talk to your kids about responsibility. Now when she starts shooting up heroin on camera, strips naked, and bangs a donkey - then you can raise a big fuss.

P.S. It's a WATER PIPE. =)

Monday, November 29, 2010

A Personal Journal Entry.

Yes, you read that correctly. I pulled this entry directly from my personal journal, because I thought it was worth sharing. I don't write all that often anymore, but I was feeling the need to pick up a pen. Notations added in parenthesis.


A lot on my mind today. It is Mike's 29th birthday, or it would have been. In just about a week, it will mark one year since I said my final goodbye to him. Thankfully, my last memory of him was that smiling face. Though I feel like we all got cheated, losing him so young. I'm missing my grandmother quite a bit too. December always makes me a little more blue than usual. It was her favorite holiday...more later....

I'm high - listenin' to Christmas Songs while I should be folding laundry. I just got back from the craft store. Bought some decor for an upcoming holiday party at Alex and Adri's. I just realized how amazing, if not hectic (as usual), December is looking this year. Why? It is like it was when Maw Maw(my grandmother, who passed 10 years ago)was here. FESTIVE. I was buying stuff to make some decorative drink favors and some decorations for the party, and now I am high as a fuckin' kite - and it hits me! Sometimes, I feel like the person I have become would disappoint her. I smoke pot, I curse like a sailor (which she hated,) I'm out of shape. Sometimes it feels like she is slipping away. But now I know. She is not. I don't disappoint her, she would love me regardless. She has instilled kindness and cheer into me, and she always stimulated my creative side during the holidays. Christmas was like a mega-festive reason to be cheerful and kind all month long. She is WHY I am the crafty Krapf that I am today.

And so all these parties, and birthdays...I'm gonna relish in them and enjoy it excessively this year. For her. Because she lives on, in me. =)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Puff, puff, pass.

A lot of people have issues with marijuana use. I admit that I use when I have migraines or can't sleep. And sometimes, just because. But the main reason that I keep it around is for migraine relief. Unfortunately we live in a World where people seem to think that all pot smokers are either a waste of time, or perpetually stoned. Damn conservatives - I've got some food for thought for y'all. Now I speak for functioning pot smokers here, when I say that in moderation - marijuana actually has a lot of benefits, and is no more dangerous than drinking hard liquor. Sure, the tars pose cancer risks, and you get high. But the same goes for smoking cigarettes. And drinking alcohol is legal, but also very much a "drug" seeing as it alters your mood, causes many similar effects of a marijuana high. The difference is that it affects your liver.

Let's get into the beneficial uses of marijuana as opposed to the recreational use.

It can be used to ease pain for people suffering from: nausea and vomiting secondary to cancer chemotherapy, AIDS wasting, neuropathic pain, and movement disorders such as the spasticity associated with multiple sclerosis, as well as many other types of diseases and pains. What most people DON'T know, is that though the THC gets you 'high' there are 60+ other chemicals in marijuana, called cannabinoids which aid in pain relief, and sometimes symptoms altogether. Now in regards to medical marijuana, there is a pill called Dronabinol. It is a synthetic form of THC available by prescription as a schedule 3 agent and in controlled studies, and it has been shown that it is as effective as smokeable marijuana and with less hazards because it avoids the respiratory effects.

If people would open their minds and take a few moments to hop on the web and look up the pros and cons, they would see that this is a natural source of pain relief. Of course, some people are going to counter with "there are so many cons to this, it's an illegal drug, etc." Well, start looking up the medications that you use daily. Go ahead, I dare you. There are just as many side effects and some that are much worse in the medications we take daily. The fact that medical marijuana can be in a pill form just goes to show that with our support and the right amount of research, these cannabinoids can be broken down and put to use for many ailments. So why is Marijuana illegal? Because it grows from the ground, you can dry it up and smoke it to get a quick and easy high. This is just common sense. You can get high from prescription medication too, but the growing of marijuana makes achieving a high easy to do from your very own back yard. That is why it is still illegal.


Picture this. If you are suffering from cancer, you are either being given radiation, or chemotherapy - which essentially is a poison being pumped through your veins, to attack and kill the cancer. POISON. So, I'm thinking if cannibinoids can ease that pain, what's wrong with that? Doctors are already running poison through your body. Can it get much worse? How about chronic migraine sufferers? When Excedrin, or other massive amounts of chemicals in the form of pain medications no longer work, you are pretty much incapacitated. You lay down, in complete darkness, a cool compress across your head, and no sound. So why not use THC to erase that pain...sure you will be slow moving - but you are going to be down and out anyway-no? So you take a hit, or a pill (which surely with the right research can be created for different types of pain,) nap for an hour, and you get your life back. I know there are times I've had migraines that keep me down for hours. HOURS.

Now remember, if marijuana ever actually makes it onto a bill in Florida and passes - it doesn't mean anyone can grow it and sell it as they do now. That would still be illegal. You would need permits to grow legally, and you would have to be prescribed this medication. People are always going to abuse marijuana, the same way they abuse prescription drugs. The difference is, would you rather suffer from pain, or take MORE medications to help you through treatment, or would you rather use a naturally supplied drug that is grown from our Earth? I don't know, but I think in some cases, I trust natural grown more than hundred of chemicals being mixed to create prescription medications.

After all is said and done, I don't see this passing anytime in the near future. My point with this post, is that there is a wealth of information floating around out there on the internet. Put it to use. You may be surprised what you learn. And I wasn't kidding - look up your prescriptions. Read up on the side effects. You are already using controlled substances that are created in a lab. It is illegal to sell them on the streets, or have possession of them without a prescription. Just sayin' ... open your minds. Someday a drug you are so against, can be just the miracle you always hoped for.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Economy on the rise = Lies.

Funny how we all keep hearing that the economy is on the rise, the recession is almost over. I don't know - it seems to me that people are still out of work, benefits and pay keep getting cut, but our bills climb. Thank you Geico, btw - I have never missed or been late on a payment, and have not been in an accident or received a ticket in years. So why raise my rates? Well fuck you, I'll be hunting for a new insurance company. You suck ballbag.

What gets me though, is here I am - at work everyday, paying my bills, even if it means my savings are struggling a bit, and I can't go out and do as much as I'd like...yet people like my aunt are living off of the government. She's an addict, an alcoholic who has relapsed again(and apparently lost God for about the 8th time now)but makes as much money as me. 50 years old, and my life is in better oder. But I am struggling. Then there's the credit card interest getting raised, limits being lowered, and fraudulent checks being written and cashed. It's happened to a few friends of mine, where checks have been intercepted in the mail and false ones have been forged. It just happened to my grandfather, 70+ years old, and he's become a victim. A victim of our shitty economy.

Something has got to give. Just Sayin'.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Dolphins Schmolphins!

First let me start by saying that I am NOT a fair-weather fan. I love my Dolphins regardless, and it takes a true fan to be this disappointed. And that's why only WE are allowed to make fun of them. =)

Come on guys - WTF?! Let me start off by saying GOOD JOB on using the Wild Cat only once this game. The first season that we used it in excess, it worked for us. But y'all are holding on to it like a peg leg to a crutch. Too predictable now, don't abuse it, and it will be more effective. Last nights game was just a supermassive mindfuck to me. It's almost as if the Dolphins started out the season with promise. Problems with the Offense, but promise nonetheless. And then the Jets game happened... that blocked kick. Once was bad enough, and against our biggest rival to boot. Yet, this game Special Team royally screwed up again with not one, but TWO more blocked kicks. TWO. Against yet another one of our rivals. It pained me to see Tom Brady's pretty boy ass flipping his hair around like a prized mare. Dale llegua??? [ask Giselle when you are allowed to have your cojones back. You used to be sexy, now you are just a weak girly-man.]

And Henne. Henne, Henne, Henne! There were way too many turnovers last night, especially when there were other receivers open and in a better position to catch and run the ball. And the last half, what was with that beautiful throw? - right into the arms of a bloody Patriot?! Did you have a memory lapse and forget what team you play for? Because that ball was nowhere close to any of our receivers. And it's not even like the team colors are easily confusable. Henne could be a good QB. If we took Pennington's brain out of that goofy head of his and placed it into Henne's. Pennington is getting up there in age, but he has a gift when it comes to finding the right receiver.

Come on guys, you really need to pull it together. It's about time you get together at practice and say "Hey-maybe we should work a little more with our Special Team and make sure they protect our kicker." And then work with Pennington and Henne. Pennington could be a great influence if he lets Henne get into his head, teach him how to pinpoint the best option for a clean throw and best chance at some yardage. Y'all are a team, so pull it together and work with one another. It's the only way that the 'Phins are going to improve - with hard work. Last night we looked the the Miami Minnows. We might as well wear the pink Breast Cancer Awareness all the time if we are going to play like girls. It was unacceptable.

On a brighter note, I'd like to end this post with some positive points. Brandon Marshall was not seeming like a good pick for me early on in the preseason games. But now that it's really gotten started, with the exception of last nights stop mid-play, he is a pretty impressive receiver. However, Bess for me is our star player this season. I can't say that I've ever cursed a blue streak laced with his name after a game. Ricky Williams played great last night as well (no fumbles?!) Is it possible he is back on the herb? Hey, if it's any indication that he could play some semblance of what he did in his prime, then by all means - toke away! And last, but most certainly not least, our defense. I'm thinking that there should just be one large standing ovation pre-game for the way that our defense has saved our asses on so many occasions. Those men have really stepped up their game, and played hard. Good job boys, keep it up!

We've got a bye-week, so use this time wisely guys. Sparano, get out there at practice and give them all the shit you can dish out. Whip them into shape, hopefully this defeat was hard enough on the team that they will put in the extra work to improve where it is needed most. Your fans may be disapointed, but we are still rooting for you. Make us proud!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Economy Boosting Professional Stupidity?


As someone who is often in City and County Building Departments, I have definitely seen them go through their ups and downs throughout this recession. In some cases, lines are long, people are overworked, and sometimes due to change of staff, employees are not 100% on top of things or able to answer your questions correctly. This is to be expected.

However, in some cases the employees themselves are getting lazy, and not at all caring about their positions and what they entail. I have always bitched about Miami Beach, because anyone who has been there knows that the permit clerks work in extra slow mode, and the 'router Desk' is pretty much a complete waste of time, not to mention where the majority of your time waiting is.

Here is my complaint for this particular post: Employees not performing up to par, due to pay cuts. One building department recently has really gone down hill. Now I have never like Hialeah's Building Department, though the wait is always long and uncomfortable, it was pretty easy to get your plans and applications dropped off. Now however, someone from this building department has told an employee of ours, that everyone is pissed off about getting paycuts, and therefore slacking. Um, three customers in three hours? All you have to do is stamp the plans, and log in the information that is already supplied for you ON the applications.

Now when you call in for status reports, you get transferred all over and ultimately end up getting someone from another departments answering machine. I understand that working for the City/County can be tedious and stressful - but a pay cut does NOT make it okay to perform poorly at work, especially when there are so many people who are still out of work, even though it's being said that our economy is back on the rise. Sadly, knowing this particular city, nothing will be done. In fact, two employees recently took early retirement because even they could no longer stand everyone else's inability to perform their job.

I ask, 'So what?!' People all over this country are losing jobs, struggling with pay cuts and worse. But they aren't practically going on a rebellious streak that will in the long run piss off their customers and possibly put their position in jeopardy. I, as well as everyone else in the company I work for have taken pay cuts, lost benefits such as 401K contributions and paid holidays, we've even taken hour cuts! Do you bitch about it, sure. But the ONLY way to survive in this economy is to keep pushing forward. Manage yourself and your assets as best as you can, even if it means taking time to sit down and plan out a budget for yourself. Because in the big scheme of things, treating your job like they are beating you down when in reality you are still pretty well paid, and have plenty of like beating a dead horse. It's pointless.

So wake up people! If you use this form of rebellion and slacking to express your disappointment, you are only making it harder on yourself. Your customers get angry and lose respect for you, because now you are making THEIR job more difficult and stressful. They are going to yell, scream, and say things you don't want to hear. Because we are all going through it too. But if you don't suck it up, and perform at your just might find yourself on the unemployment line, while someone else settles nicely into your position at a lower pay scale...simply because people these days are REALLY struggling and would sacrifice for even a small income that beats that $250 bi-weekly that they get on unemployment.

Ask yourself this - is bitterness over a few bucks really worth jeopardizing your career and making minimal bucks?

Monday, August 30, 2010

Personal update. Let's call the WAHmbulance.

Funny enough, looking back at my last post....things could not have gone more off track from where I wanted to be by now.

Money is still tight. I mean, I can do small stuff here and there...but I mostly save what I can for the important stuff, and my bills. Reality is, that this double dip recession is hitting our company later than it hit most. We literally have under 10K in our company account today, with about 7K in bills. My dad and the other boss, have not cashed paychecks in months. MONTHS. It's a friggin' waiting game...we wait and pray that the mail carrier brings us some checks. The few employees that we DO have (9 to be exact) are down to working only 3 days a week. And as for me? Well, I'm getting most of my hours, but my credit card is pretty damn high again. I'll have to work on paying that down. And I still need to figure out a name for my freelance makeup artistry, and make the time to get 'models' to make up and photograph for a portfolio before I can really get started on that. To be honest, it's scary.

Another big failure? Working on friendships. As someone who has been in a larger group of friends, I used to joke on my brother for having pretty much a small handful, if that, of friends. And now, I am in that same boat. Why is that? Multiple reasons I suppose. Some my fault, some not so much.

Funny how you get excluded from a lot, when you live further away from the majority of your friends...but when someone is up your way and you spend time with them, because it makes sense, it equates to you being "exclusive" with them. I have a HUGE problem with this. Aside from one or two people who drive up to Hollywierd, no one else really did unless I badgered them to show up for parties. However, a good 90% of the things that were done before in this same group I used to call friends, were done in Hialeah. So nobody could carpool north 35 minutes to hang out....but I was expected to drive south, by myself for no reason other than to hang out...and drive back north at 2-3 a.m. drunk. But they found excuses for when parties were going on by me, or The Gonzalez'. Where is the logic in that? Or people would get upset that I didn't invite them up for impromptu things, that were not planned, but just came together with the people who live closer to me. Yet when it happened with those other friends, and the rest who live closer to them, they argue the same thing...that it was impromptu. But I am exclusive with someone for doing this, and they are not?

Another big reason things fell apart? I suppose it had to do with taking sides with said friend, who lives closer to me. Why? Well because when someone gets insulted in my house, and I hear said insult with my own ears...I have a right to pass judgment on the person who spewed that garbage, seemingly unprovoked. Then you have to factor in the big thing-the end of my involvement with this group. I'd already stopped talking to one girl, because she continued to lie to me about dumb little shit, even after asking her to level with me. Someone I was expecting, and talked to multiple times during the day of my birthday, who promised they would be there and never showed, after telling me they were leaving as soon as their mom got home when they could borrow the car. Someone who I later found out (by email from their new boyfriend) didn't want to be around another guest. Knowing that I am very understanding and would have taken that at face value and accepted it, they instead chose to blow smoke up my ass. Which is insulting to me. A slap in the face, considering that I was there during a very hard time not just for her, but a hard time for ALL of us, my main concern being her. Making sure she was okay, holding her up when her own legs couldn't.

Following this, a coupling popped up between said girl and the other guests best friend. I don't agree with it. But I also am not all up in their business. Fuck me for making a a general facebook status about people being upsetting and crossing lines shortly after this actually happened. (that status was also referring to other situations, not just the situation at hand, and my opinion on people in general.) And I suppose that part of the mess to follow was my fault for having an opinion and the balls to display it (even though I never called anybody, in any situation I was referring to out) - but I could not have know that the pissing war was going to be about something completely irrelevant to that situation. The whole thread should have stopped after a few comments. But then someone felt the need to attack someone else that they have problems with, with a barrage of truth and lies from the past. Things that should never have been displayed to the public. And then there was retaliation. And then people with no involvement started sticking their noses into it. Somehow I was called a "hypocrite" from all of it, at which point I deleted the entire thread, because I am sure that had I let it go, it would have gotten even uglier than it did. I felt unjustly attacked, and that was the beginning of the demise of one more friendship, sealed by a very nasty email that I did not deserve, based on something that someone else said. Given, an apology was later emailed to me that seemed sincere, and I replied to it very honestly. But of course, nothing more has come of that.

So much for staying neutral. Naturally, my friendship strengthened with the people who weren't pointing fingers, and choosing to not address me at all.

And on top of all of this, my best friend and I were already drifting apart. I had my issues with how the friendship was going, and it is not something that I am going into in detail in here, as I feel I have already shared all of that with said person. That is who it needed to be shared with. I am not naive enough to say that I don't have my own issues, bad habits, etc. I am positive that I do, but a lot of the time we cannot see these in ourselves. But I flat out asked my longtime friend's opinion on these, to point them out to me so that we could work on it, and also to address to me how she feels based on the issues I brought up. It's been months now, with no reply after her saying that she wanted her rebuttal to be right - and "come from the heart." Well, it hasn't come. Period. And that tells me that as I suspected, I was more invested in the friendship towards the end. I was trying...when it was so easy to just say "fuck it, I'm done." And now it has come to the point that I am. Put a fork in me. I know that I have tried to make peace with this person on more than one occasion. Invited her to my house for a party to spend time with her niece, etc. Shot down. I did my part and left the ball in her court. /shrug

It's a fucking shame how things have turned out. And more proof as to why I have trust issues so deeply. Because if you can't trust someone who has been a huge part of your life for 13+ years, then who CAN you trust? I admit, I am lonelier than I have been in some time, even with the few amazing friends that I do hold close to my heart. Because I feel like everything fell apart over stupid shit. Things that could have easily been avoided, but blew up into a huge situation. I feel at part guilty, when I know I probably shouldn't, because I know that I can be harsh, and hard-headed as hell. Maybe I should have tried harder to keep some of these people in my life - but that's just not me. To kiss someone's ass, and forget all the wrongs that have been laid out on the table. But that has always been me, and I have never denied it. It's just shameful that as adults, we are still acting like the kids we were in high school. It honestly makes me question society, how things have changed with each new generation. Makes me a little nervous about how the human race will be in the future. =/

However, on a positive note; I have been exercising lately, trying to get myself in better shape, with the motivational help of a friend. I'm eating better, and I am back to drinking much more water, and cutting out as much soda as I can from my diet. I follow my eating 6 times a day plan, with 100 calories and under for snacks the majority of the time. I still screw up royally when it comes to lunch.But I am for real about this. In fact, even on my off days from exercising, I have been hopping on the Wii Fit and getting in a good half hour of aerobics and strength training, so that I am burning more calories all week. And you know what, though I have not really lost any weight...I feel good about sticking to it. Because it is something that I need to do for ME. It clears my head, will make me healthier in the long run, and gets my mind off of all the other bullshit that tends to get people down. I don't want to give in to the negativity that circles around us every day. I don't want to end up so depressed that I am looking for the wrong kind of out, purposely or not.

A lot of us said our goodbyes to an old friend last December...I don't want that to be me, be it due to health, depression, even an accident. We are far too young to be saying goodbyes to our peers. What I have learned from all of this - is that maintenance is necessary. Be it maintenance of yourself, or nurturing of friendships. Likewise, sometimes things just shift - and there is nothing you can do about it. So you either be a defeatist, or you get up and move on with your life. Excel at working on yourself, and hoping that in the future you cross paths with people who can see the real you and accept you for that, but are also willing to put in a little effort to stay in/keep you in their lives. And you take the people who you love, family and friends, with a grain of salt. You learn with time what buttons not to push, when to just let them vent, and when to be there to give them a hug when they are hard on themselves or just need one.

Not to be a negative Nancy...but life is hard. And with each year, it only gets more difficult and further tests your strength. But it's also necessary to make you wiser.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Out with the old, in with the new!

I have to say that I am fully embracing 2010 with open arms, and high hopes for the new decade among us. The closing of 2009 brought with it a lot of trials and tribulations. But it also brought a few hard, but insightful lessons.

It all started at the begining of December, when sadly many of us lost a great friend on the day of two other friends' wedding. In the midst of our shock and sorrow, was the proof that a strong group of friends can pull together and get through anything. The DelaTorre' wedding was beautiful, and I believe that Mike was there with us in spirit. His service was very difficult. To experience the finality of the life of someone you have known for nearly 15 years, is devastating. To lose someone so young was completely unexpected, and something I don't want to experience again for a long time to come. And as tragic as the loss was(and still is) it has proven to me that true friendship can get you thru anything. More so, it has taught me to take advantage of the time you have with the people who are important to you, because you never know what is going on in their heads, or how long they will be in your life.

I also learned thru another experience in December that truly caring for somebody, no matter how much it may hurt YOU, means letting go for the other persons happiness. Could I have been pissed off at the situation I am referring to, fought and pushed for what I wanted - easily. But honestly, I am content knowing that this person is happy. Do I wish that the friendship remained stronger than it has - of course. But I believe in time it will get easier...there was a lot of emotion involved. Whether is was only on my part I am uncertain, but I feel that due to this person's leveling with me, I wasn't just some random girl who's company was used for passing time.

And so with 2010, I have decided this is MY year to shine. Time to focus on myself. My weight and health, saving money, nurturing my friendships, and by helping others by devoting my spare time to them. I plan to sign up for some volunteer sites including Hands On Miami, and Habitat for Humanity. I figure that giving back to the community is a great and unselfish thing to do with my time, while saving money as well. I plan to get up to North Carolina to see sistaluv and my niece...and make it a once to twice yearly plan. Because I will NOT allow myself to drift out of their lives. I am going to go meet Jessie's lovely Aria. I'd like to spend a long weekend in the Keys with friends this year, focus on losing weight, go skydiving, and experience new things. You only have one life to live. So be open-minded and LIVE IT. Because never know how much time you have. And a life not lived, is a life wasted.

So come on 2010, bring it. I am ready to face anything you throw at me. Because though 2009 brought a lot of heartache and tears, I am still here and I am stronger because of it.