Friday, December 16, 2011

Digging in the past...

The past two years have been quite trying, but though I feel a little shorted on the friend front, I realize that I have some amazing people in my life. I have friends in North Carolina who might as well be family, and I consider them as such. I have a handful of friends here (what a sausage fest!)who accept me despite my flaws and misgivings. And I have someone in my life who loves me - and even though it is overwhelming at times, it feels pretty damn good to have love reciprocated.

Anyhow, I was reading some old emails I had saved. One in particular, caught my attention - I'm not going to say who it is was with - but a phrase in it struck me. "I always thought the best of you, and now that's gone. I am so very disappointed at the person you have become. And I hope for your sake that you will come out of this someday." That phrase stung, for quite some time. It made me question if I had become a monster. But as time has passed, I have had a lot of time to reflect.

I will not apologize for the person I have become. I am the same person I always was. Have I changed? Not the whole of me - I have grown. Which I feel is an immense difference, and a necessity as we age. Though I did receive what seemed like a very sincere apology after I responded to that email, many of the people involved are no longer a part of my life. And though the way it all came to blow was immature, I accept it for what it is. People choose. Lovers over friends, new bonds over old ties.

What I have learned in the past several years is that any relationship where only one person is fighting and putting in most effort IS going to fail, and people will judge when they only hear one side of a story. Relationships are all about respect, interaction, trust, and the ability to bend for those you love. This goes for love, and friendship. Two very precious, emotional, and complex aspects of life. I've also learned that too much of anything is a bad thing. I much prefer my handful of faithfuls to a massive group of individuals that are inseparable. Because they are separable. Always.

Anyhow - the point of this post is that after re-reading that, in retrospect I am quite happy with the person that I am. Gossip is a renegade freight train - aimed to take out everyone in it's path. It can destroy reputations, friendships, self esteem. So if you don't go looking for it and airing people's dirty laundry, you will save yourself a lot of pain and stress. Berating others is futile and hypocritical when you yourself are guilty of the same, or worse. But most importantly, I am in dire need of learning when to use a filter - because sometimes people aren't ready for the truth. Or it comes off as being judgmental when it is meant to be constructive. I am not perfect. What matters is that when you lay your head down at night, you have a clear conscience and are content with how you treat others. My grandmother was the most influential person in my life. There are many aspects of my personality that she would disapprove of - bad habits mostly. But when it comes to the person I have become, I like to think that she would be pretty proud of the woman that I am. Mostly optimistic, firm in my beliefs and values (though they may differ from others), and loyal - sometimes to a fault. But most of all, I am true to myself. I don't try to fit into a mold of what others want me to be.

And with that, I think I have found the closure that I needed. That ultimately I am proud of the person that I am, despite what others think. It's time to let go. Delete the emails, let go of some of the anger, and enjoy the pictures and good memories from friendships that didn't last - so that I can appreciate the ones that have. #personalgrowth

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

No Justice for Caylee Marie Anthony

For those of you in Florida, and around the United States who have been living under a rock and are unfamiliar with the State vs. Casey Anthony murder trial, let me get you up to date. Just over three years ago, a beautiful little girl in north Florida was reported missing, and her skeletal remains were found six months later, tossed in the woods like a piece of trash. The child's mother Casey (22 at the time) as it turns out had known her daughter was missing for over a month, without reporting it to anybody. She fabricated lies and elaborate stories that she told to her parents and investigators - all the while she was out partying while spinning a web of lies. She lied to police, made up a story about a fictional nanny who 'kidnapped' her little girl, and later fabricated a story about an accidental drowning. However, somehow I can't connect an accidental drowning with finding the remains of a 2 year old, with duct tape over her mouth, wrapped in trash bags, and buried in a wooded area. Why go to such lengths to cover up an accident? Casey Anthony has been in jail for three years, as the main suspect in her daughter's disappearance and death. This past month, millions of us have watched the trial unfold, and her web of lies sag and fall apart.

We learned that Casey's mother finally reported her grand daughter missing. We learned of computer searches on things such as 'chloroform', 'neck breaking',which were deliberately deleted from search history. We then learned that Casey's mother Cindy claimed she was doing those searches. Later yet, we learned that Cindy Anthony was at work at the times those searches were performed on her home computer, proving that she perjured herself. We saw testimony from Casey's father, a retired police man, that upon picking up his daughter's car he smelled the very distinct smell of decomposition in the trunk of her car. Why would a father, lie about that? If anything instinct would have you protect your child, not accuse her. Yet that seems not to matter to a jury. Nor did the fact that Casey Anthony lied to detectives on multiple occasions, failed to report her daughter missing, had partaken in a hot body contest, AND gotten a tattoo reading 'Bella Vita' (Beautiful Life) in the span of time that her daughter was 'missing/kidnapped.' She then told more lies, and claimed an accidental drowning. I am not a mother, but as a woman, maternal instinct is bred into me. People deal with grief in different ways, but the last thing that would be on my mind would be to get a tattoo depicting how beautiful life is, when in fact a grieving mother would be more apt to have thoughts along the line of "life is so cruel and unfair. I need to find the monster who took my baby away from me." But then again, I am not Casey Anthony. I did not sit in a court room, stone-faced while my father wept - testifying about the smell of decomposition in her car while his grand daughter was missing, and recalling the suicide note he wrote to loved ones before attempting to take his own life. I did not sit in a court room, expressionless while a meter reader testified about sticking his meter stick into the eye socket of my child's remains.

Today, after less than 11 hours of deliberations, a jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of first degree murder. Not guilty of aggravated child abuse. Not guilty of aggravated manslaughter of a child. And guilty on four counts of lying to authorities. According to yahoo news, "Anthony will be sentenced by the judge on Thursday and could receive up to a year in jail for each lying count. She has already spent almost three years in jail awaiting trial."

Seven years. Seven years in return for murdering your child and tossing her away like yesterday's trash. Yet people are punished more severely for drug convictions, affecting nobody but themselves. The judicial system failed miserably on this one, folks. So all of the evidence was 'circumstantial' and not 'physical.' I disagree with the verdict 100%. In some cases, as such, the truth is there, in the web of lies that this unremorseful mother has spun. Untruths that were proven. This case is sadly going to go down in history as one of the most unjust verdicts we have seen, along with the likes of the O.J. Simpson case. Accept in this case it is more sickening and heart-wrenching, in that a mother callously cheated her own flesh and blood of what could have been a beautiful life. And she dragged her family though the mud in the process, in front of the World, with little to no remorse. She gets a slap on the wrist.

I sincerely hope with all of my heart, as a HUMAN BEING - that Casey Anthony, every single one of those jurors and defense attorneys, and anyone else who knows that this verdict was wrong are haunted by their decisions. I hope the guilt they feel consumes them like a giant fireball - destroying them from the inside out. But more than anything, I hope that our legal system in the future can find a way to prevent letting cases like this slip through the cracks due lack of physical evidence when it is so plain that the defendant is guilty of a crime this horrible. It literally makes me sick to my stomach, that this woman will be laughing in the face of the legal system - knowing that her daughter paid the ultimate price, her life, for simply not fitting into her lifestyle. If you are mature enough to be a mother, you are mature enough to put your life on hold for long enough to make one smart decision and put an unwanted child up for adoption if he/she does not fit into your lifestyle. Someone else, be it a woman unable to carry a child or a gay couple, would have done everything in their power to have given that child a beautiful life.

Bella Vita....the irony.

Monday, June 13, 2011

NBA Championship 2011

First off I would like to congratulate the Dallas Mavericks on their win. As much as I dislike Barea and Terry, those two played extremely hard throughout the Finals and as a team, the Mavs totally deserved the win. This however, does not mean that I am not upset about the way the Miami Heat played.

As some of you know, I am a first season basketball fan. I never took the time to actually watch a game before, and was quickly hooked within a game or two - due to the sportsmanship, teamwork, and constant action on the court. This in no way means that I am a 'band-wagoner.' I am a hometown girl, and I will definitely be watching next season as well, and rooting for My Heat. Everyone seems to be quick to blame LeBron James for the failure to beat the Mavs for a second time, but I hate to break it to you guys - the whole team should take the fall. If anything, we didn't deserve to win with the way we have been playing. There is no excuse for any player to miss free throws. Especially when this is what they practice all year for. We also need to focus on not giving away so many turnovers, but that is my personal opinion. You can't lay the blame/responsibility on the shoulders of one player. It's just not fair. Be as disappointed as you want, but our boys were doing something right. They are the second best team this year in the NBA, and they are the Eastern Conference Champs. I think that says a lot for our team. So don't hate, appreciate that we have an amazing team - that will hopefully learn from their mistakes and be confident, but less cocky. Yeah, I said it. We are cocky. Sometimes it takes a fall from the pedestal to realize and work toward perfection.

Now, on another note (and maybe I don't get this right as a first time fan)the band-wagoners DO piss me off. It's one thing to go for your home team, or against it if that is your thing, but to just go for any team that you don't care about and passionately taunt real fans is a slap in the face. In fact, it kind of makes you a flaming douchebag. Pick a team, and be a fan. It's really easy to look up a players stats and pretend that you have been their biggest fan forever. Here is the truth to all of you out there yelling about how Dirk Nowitzki is a king: Is he a good player? Absolutely. Does he ever miss free throws? Seldom. But he did not play to his potential in the last few games, and missed waaaaay too many baskets. If you want to honor anyone (as much as it pains me to say this) rave about Borea or Terry, because they really carried the team to the victory the last couple games of the Finals.

All in all, it was a tense, yet enjoyable finale to the season. I am glad that I took the time to watch, enjoy, and support our Miami team and hope that next season they come back stronger and focused. Miami fans are definitely some of the most loyal.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Migraine Update 3

So, here I am at the end of my cycle again. The second I take that sugar pill in my birth control pack - the migraines begin like clockwork. After looking into it, for some reason my pharmacy put in a discount card for the Maxalt, and it overrode my insurance and showed my OLD insurance with BCBS - which did not cover it. After my doctor called the insurance companies he found that AvMed DOES cover Maxalt. He also called in another prescription for me, called Inderal. It is a daily blood pressure medication (my blood pressure is perfect) that also acts as a preventative for migraine sufferers. I have only been on it for two days, and got signs of a migraine this morning, which I managed to thwart. Perhaps it has not been in my system long enough?

After going back to my pharmacy, I had them put my correct insurance information in. Lo and behold I can now purchase my prescription for the Maxalt. 12 pills for $50. MUCH better than 18 for $530. I pick up that prescription tonight, and am looking forward to the comfort of knowing that when I DO get a migraine from now on (assuming the Inderal does not prevent them as it should) it is a quick pill and a 10-15 minute wait before the migraine diminishes as opposed to hours. It's gonna be nice to be able to go out again without fear of a migraine when my head feels fuzzy, or strange. And now I can't wait for the next concert that comes in town - I won't be so worried about migraine attacks that I just overlook them. Here's to getting my life back, hopefully. Keep your fingers crossed, and I will update you all once I have a better grasp of how the medications are working for me. =)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Migraine update 2

P.S. Maxalt worked wonders. With minimal side affects. Until I ran out of it. Of course I would get a 4.5 hour migraine that would NOT ease up, cause me to vomit violently, and be isolated in the dark with ice packs for hours. The doctor had written out a prescription, which I tried to fill. No generic and not covered by insurance, it would have cost me $530. Clearly THAT medicine is out.

Next step? My doctor is supposed to be calling my insurance company to see what migraine medications they cover, and then try me on whichever remaining meds I have NOT tried.

Verdict? I'm fucked in the head.

.....maybe today of all days was not the best to update you on this, but what is more effective than raw emotion?


You know, it seems like every year close to my birthday (since that car accident a few years ago) something goes fucking wrong. Someone pulls into me in traffic, creams my car, and almost puts me head first into a van. Fast forward a year. It dawns on me that a lot of relationships that were once important to me are essentially over for various reasons - some I may or may not have been to blame for, the most painful of which was realizing that amongst all of it, I was losing yet another of the people I called my best friend. Maybe I am the problem, I'm not cut out for it. Bad judge of character? And afraid today again, that the friend I am closest to is going to run back north as soon as she has the money to.

I've been really down the last few weeks. 29 is getting too close to 30, when I feel like I am at my unhealthiest weight, not making as much money as I once was, hence not being able to save money as I would like. It all equates to this: I am almost out of young adulthood - and where have I gone in life? Fuckin nowhere. Sinking in quicksand. Depressed as hell. The only thing really making me happy is my boyfriend, the lillies I buy myself, and my fucking soap opera. And now, another set back. Pile on top of all that stress, plus missing my grandmother the way I always do near my birthday and here I am...3 days shy of 29 and I fucked up my car real good today. Moving from next door, trying to get into the already narrow driveway at work (a driveway flanked between two big pickup trucks)when someone turns onto the street in a pickup, speeding, not looking like he was gonna slow down and me there. In the middle of the street. Trying to cut my wheel enough to get in the driveway. So I panic, pull forward, misjudge my cutting of the wheel - and BAM! I hit my dad's trailer hitch. My front bumper is all fucked up now, complete with a hole AND a busted headlight. Which like an ass I thought was cracked, and touched. Turned out to be broken and I cut my finger. Happy fucking birthday Ang. You should just stay in bed for the week prior to your birthday from now on. ='( Fuck my life. I feel like such a worthless piece of shit.

Have I mentioned that I sick of migraines. And hearing the word cancer. And fuckbag work neighbors. And hypocrites?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Operation: Stop Migraines

So, for those of you who have been wondering what exactly is up with my head...we don't know! Actually as of now I have been diagnosed with what my doctor refers to as "menstrual migraines." Basically they occur the week before and during my menstrual cycle, and usually culminate in a throbbing at my right temple that increases in pain in that area and deep behind the eye, which at it's worse travels down the back of my head and into my neck. I also suffer from photophobia (increased sensitivity to light)and phonophobia (increased sensitivity to sound) as well as occasional nausea. The only way to garner some relief is to be in a dark, cold room - i.e, retreating to the Batcave.

Now let me say, that if you have not suffered from a migraine - you don't ever want to. As someone with a high pain tolerance, my constant complaints of discomfort should be a sign that these are no joke. I feel for anyone I know who has ever suffered from these.

After mentioning this again to my doctor, he decided to start trying me on some migraine relief medications, which will not prevent but relieve migraines when they hit, but relieving the swelling of blood vessels around the brain, as well as preventing them from further swelling and blocking pain receptors. So far I have been tried on two separate medications. One (Relpax) DID take care of my migraine quite quickly, however the intense amount of pain and pressure in my neck made it a poor option for me. The second pill (Imitrex) I have heard bad things about, but at this point, I am ready to try anything for some relief. It didn't do anything at all for me. Today, I went in again to my doctor and he gave me a third medication to try called Maxalt. As with the others, it will be pricey if it works. But at this point if it works, it's worth it.

I'm hoping this particular medication works well for me, though it seems that I will be waiting until next month to try it, since I am at the end of this month's cycle. My doctor did tell me that he has just a few more for me to try if this does not, and that the next step would be a referral to a neurologist. So please guys and dolls, keep your fingers (and toes!) crossed that we find a medication that will ease these migraines and not cause more painful side effects.

I will keep you all updated as this process continues.

Monday, February 28, 2011

83rd Annual Academy Awards - FASHION

and now, my favorite part - the stars and their fashion!!!

Let me start off by saying that I DESPISE this new structured dress trend. I am aware that it is high fashion, however to me these structured shoulders and hip rolls look to me like someone carved Styrofoam and sewed fabric around it. I am not a fan at all. It reminds me of old-fashioned bum rolls, and I never liked those either. I think my favorite look of the night - believe it or not - was Reese Witherspoon. First of all, she is such a doll. I loved the simplicity of her gown, and the black with just the small band of white at the bust is so sophisticated. I feel like Avant Garde is okay at fashion shows, art shows and the like, but for the red carpet, I feel like sophisticated is the way to go. Again, less is more. I was also a big fan of Sandra Bullock's red gown. Again very classy and sophisticated, and I liked the asymmetrical shape of the bust line. She just blows me away with her natural comedic personality. To me she is the perfect balance between poise, professionalism, and down-to-earth. (Love that woman. Jesse James, you are a FOOL.)

I was pleased with the majority of Anne Hathaway's picks out of her 7 outfit changes. Her maroon gown with the beading detail was most definitely my favorite of her choices for the evening. She has impeccable taste when it comes to gowns. I was not a big fan of the blue, off-the-shoulder gown however. It reminded me too much of blue liquid latex, but that is just my personal opinion.

Jennifer Hudson - BRAVO! Though the tangerine colored gown was a little loud, it fit well with her complexion...and I have to say though only a presenter, it may have seemed over the top to some, but mad props to her. Her figure looks better than it ever has, and she should be proud to show it off! Mila Kunis, the lavender color went amazing with her complexion as well, though I was not a fan of the fluttery ruffles. Penelope Cruz looked so glamorous, and fiery in her gown, the new mom looked amazing. ScarJo's dress was beautiful. I really liked the cut and color, but poor girl looked so uncomfortable in it, and I wish she had done something more with her hair, I was not fond of the classy dress with the bedhead hair. It just didn't work for me. Michelle Williams look ahhh-maaaz-iiiing. I am not the biggest fan of short sleeves on gowns, but her textured white gown was to die for. She carried it very well, and with her cut little pixie hairdo and classic makeup, she looked angelic. So very classy and feminine, loved it! Hilary Swank's was almost perfect. I like the gradient color and the cut of the dress - but I am not the biggest fan of THAT much feathers. Likewise Halle Berry's dress was gorgeous, right under the overspill of white tulle jutting out near the bottom. I think if the train were made from the same nude-look, glitzy material as the rest of the dress, it would have been perfect. The tulle just looked like an afterthought to me. She is still gorgeous regardless, and could pull off damn near anything. =)

And let's not forget the fabulous Natalie Portman! I loved how natural her makeup was, and her plum colored gown was perfect for a pregnant starlet. Loved that it was such a romantic, flowy material. I am not at all a big fan of those really tight gowns showing off the baby bump...I cant put my finger on why. I feel like she looked beautiful, and comfortable - which is important for a pregnant woman, let's not stress baby. I also adored how her husband walked her to stage and helped her up the steps to retrieve her award for Best Leading Lady. It was sooo touching. Let me also add in, I love how she took the time to thank some of the people behind the scenes that most people don't think of. The camera operators, makeup artists, costume designers, etc. Class-act, that one.

My least favorites of the night were Melissa Leo's mirrored doily look, Gwyneth Paltrow's aluminumesque dress with the strange neckline that looked like it had been slit straight down, but Cate Blanchett takes the cake for worst dress in my eyes. A lot of people found it stunning, however between the color, the bib-like effect, and the leather covered pearls strangely arranged around the 'bib' looked to me like her dress had a bad herpes outbreak. And what was with the two very random putrid yellow streaks going up and over her shoulders???

On another note, I would like to add that one of the things I love about Helena Bonham Carter is her quiet confidence and ability to wear things that cater to her individual and eccentric style. Sometimes it is a total miss, but I thought she did a phenomenal job last night. As did the guys, but then it is hard to mess up any man in a suit. Christian Bale could have trimmed his grizzly beard though.

I'd like to thank the Academy...

The 83rd Annual Academy Awards
Ok, let me first start by saying that this year I did not see any of the main competitors in the running for the best Picture. So this year it was more about the fashion and the hosts for me, than the films themselves.

So I will start off with my review of the elements I did and did not like about the actual show, then rave about the fashion in a seperate post. =)

I have a mixed review on the new, younger hosts this year. While I enjoyed that it was much less - drab than usual, I was not really happy with the hosting. Anne Hathaway I feel held her own, though her jokes were not delivered quite as natural as I'd hoped. James Franco on the other hand, did not impress me. I feel like he is more comfortable acting that he is being natural in front of the camera. I was ready for full out humor as dictated by the commercials and ads for the show - however, to me he seemed very blase and lacking in personality. Perhaps, and I am going to throw this out there, he was extremely nervous. As normal day to day citizens we get starstruck, but surely stars also get starstruck, not just by the vast amount of talent filling that theatre, but by the fact that some of their very own idols are sitting out there, eyes on them. I did like the singing skit that Anne did about Hugh Jackman, it had it's comical moments. However, the 'Movie Musicals' segment didn't cut it for me. I found it quite cheesy. As far as the outfit changes, I feel that Anna did an amazing job (I even really liked her custom tailored suit!) James, wtf was with the white leotard? Clearly it was meant to be funny, but I wasn't impressed. I don't think men's junk sack bouncing around is at all attractive, even he was trying to use his hand as a shield at one point. Nice ass though! I'll give him that. I also liked how he came out in drag as Marilyn Monroe in the "Gentleman Prefer Blondes" iconic fuchsia gown, then that could be that I am a HUGE Marilyn fan, but any man willing to come out in drag to counteract Anne's suit, gets respect. That takes some cojones.

I enjoyed a few aspects of the show - first and foremost the stage setup was incredible. I loved the simplicity of it, the way the arch screens visually sparkled most of the time with that golden starry effect. I think that sometimes, award shows go way overboard with the set up. I feel like in many cases, less is more - and in this case it was not jumping out at you the entire time, instead creating a subtle visual interest. One of my favorite moments of the night was Celine Dion's rendition of the song 'Smile' which is definitely one of my favorite songs. I still think she looks like a bobblehead, albeit a very talented one. It was so well-suited for the 'In Memorium' segment of the show, as opposed to the typical orchestra usually playing in the background. Michael Douglas' father Kirk Douglas was a little difficult to understand what with his age and stroke a few years ago, but man was he a character. I love when people are elderly and they still keep a sense of themselves, and a great character. A lot of people are buzzing however, about the first televised award going to Mellisa Leo - who dropped the F-bomb in her acceptance speech. Here's the thing, yes it had to be bleeped out, but you could see the utter shock and emotion on the woman's face. That is a big accomplishment for any actor/actress. I personally found that to be my favorite acceptance speech, DUE to the realism of it. All in all, I found the show to be mediocre. It wasn't a total bomb.

I also liked the kids singing at the end of the show, though it would have been nicer if they were more in sync with one another as far as the swaying and hanf movements. It was really nice to have them perform onstage, flanked byt he evenings winners. That is a once in a lifetime opportunity that those children will never forget.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine, shmalentine.

Valentine's Day - February 14th. I absolutely HATE this holiday. Yet at the same time - I don't. I'm always ... hopeful.

I am not that girl who has ever really experienced anything...romantic. The most romantic thing I have ever experienced was a motorcycle ride to the beach to watch the sunset. Except it was cloudy, and you couldn't even see the sunset. I was dating this same guy a few years back on Valentine's Day - the first time I have ever had a valentine. It was a case of some flowers delivered to the office, with pink roses in them (I HATE pink, and roses die in 2 days, he knew this)and that was it. Didn't see him. Didn't hear from him. Coincidentally, the relationship ended not long after. That was my ONLY valentine. Since school, at any rate - when we used to exchange those ridiculously cute little cards. Oh and there was one in high school - but he gave the exact same thing to 2 other girls that I had classes with. Only thing is that the names on the cards were different.

As much as I feel like it is a dumb 'holiday' it IS crammed down our throats, and as for women - a lot of us feel left out. Most women who spend a lot of the time single do. And I find it annoying when the pretty, popular, it girls complain about others being down about it. It's easy to say when you are put up on a pedestal. When you aren't, it's quite the emotional mindfuck. This 'holiday' is aimed at men's wallets, and women's emotions. It should be a happy day, but society has blown it out of proportion, and over commercialized it to the extent that if you are single - you are just destined to feel undesirable. You walk into Walgreens and it looks like cupid sharted hearts and candies. You go to (in my case) building departments, and every female permit clerk has chocolates, or flowers on their desks...and the foil heart balloons. Sooo many. Save that shit for when you are at home, so it isn't crammed down everyone's throat. There is nothing worse than people repeatedly telling you, "I hope your Valentine's Day is as special as mine!" I feel like when you are with someone you care about you should both show each other in small ways every single day. But, that is not how life is. You can't escape it.

I know this post sounds bitter. It is not meant that way. Let me state for the critics, that I DO have someone in my life who cares about me, and has put a smile on my face every single day for the past several weeks. Someone who DOES tell me every day that I am beautiful/gorgeous/amazing. Someone who makes ME feel all of those things...=) He also had plans, but they fell through. Which sucks. More so because the REST of my day was so shitty, not that I should expect anything different. It seems like that particular day is cursed for me.

The point behind this post - is that all of the over-commercialization and added stress of "making it a perfect day" is unnecessary. Be thankful for what you have, and show how important it is to you every day, and you won't be obligated to make ONE day out of the year perfection. Because your over accomplishment actually brings others down. Just sayin'.

And for the record - be it a small bouquet of flowers, one single stem, a home cooked meal, or just laying together appreciating each other...feeling like a desirable woman is something that EVERY girl should experience at least once. But it shouldn't be on one set date a year. I'm looking forward to experiencing this some day. (I am also looking forward to my first kiss under a mistletoe, or one on the strike of midnight of a new year ... also things that every lady should experience.) I am not the only girl who feels this way - so get on it guys and girls. Inject this way of thinking into your everyday life. I guarantee it will bring you a lot more happiness.