Wednesday, November 4, 2009

In lieu of witicism: Un-substancial update!

This is just going to be a random update about happenings in my life, or lack thereof. I apologize I don't have anything to glamor you with today.

I have to say, that October has been a rough month and I have had a few small anxiety attacks. Mostly in part due to the stress of work and other emotional standings. Work has been a little crazy. We have days where I am giving it my all, shuffling paperwork, getting proposals out, working on getting the company some money in. And then there are days [much like today] where the phone has not rang once. I much prefer running permits to being chained to my desk. Upside of the office, I can play on FB [or blog even]. However, even dealing with the atrocious traffic in Miami, I am more at ease on the road. It clears my mind. This whole sitting in the office thing...I get paid, but I feel useless. We are owed so much money that we are beginning to blacklist some contractors, and demanding partial payments, and full payment before applying for final inspections of jobs. Unfortunately, I am also aware that there will be no bonuses this year, no raises, and salary cuts look like they may be in the near future. You all know that December is a plethora of birthdays and parties along with Christmas. *sigh* Another day in the life of regular people trying to get by with the economy in the shitter.

Emotionally, I am in a wierd place. I've had walls up for a very long time. Unfortunately, I let them down and developed feelings for somebody completely unexpected. I was so not ready, or expecting to feel a rush of emotions the way I's borderline embarassing that it is one aspect of my personality that I cannot control. All of the tomboy qualities I have, and I get blessed with heart-on-the-sleeve syndrome. *insert eyeroll here* I despise that side of myself. We've decided to remain friends, which is a difficult task to achieve when you are so into someone, but doable nonetheless. I'm a strong person, and already able to push a lot of those feelings aside, they will be gone with time. I will say that I am glad to still have said person in my life, because I have found an amazing friend in him. It's nice to be able to talk to somebody so openly. Even if occasionally I have to keep myself in check because my head is telling me one thing but my vagina wants another, lol

On the health front, we are still waiting on mom's pathology results, and I will keep those of you that matter informed. You know this. I have dropped some weight, which is an awesome thing for me, really pumped up my self esteem. I still have not started running like I keep saying I will. Though maybe it is a good idea for me to do so at night and wear myself out. I have not been sleeping well at all in the last few months. And in an effort to get out of my head for a while, I admit I have spent too much money, and too much time partying lately. To the point I literally am running on empty. I think it's time I slow down a little.

On a good note, I am leaving SoFlo for a week in North Carolina. I'll be going up to visit Vikki, and my other friends and second family up there, and most meet my beautiful niece Sophia. She just melts my heart. And there is no better cure to stress than playing with babies, and getting lost in the wilderness. =)